Character Is Destiny
This article was originally published on Steven N. Peskind’s blog and is shared here with his permission.
We live in an era of shortcuts.
I see it when a new vendor is looking to sell the label of “best in class” for a few hundred dollars.
Or the lawyer who lets ChatGPT write her pleadings or trial memorandum without confirming the legal citations are not AI phantoms.
Or other lawyers who throw tens of thousands of dollars a month at SEO and social media to reel in new clients, yet are too disorganized or lazy to manage the volume, failing to return client calls or master the facts of their cases prior to going to court.
But even in the age of AI and “greatestlawyersintheuniverse.com,” you can’t buy your way to success in family law. The foundation of real success is professionalism and hard work, two traits that are becoming increasingly rare. Do I sound like that old guy talking about the good old days? Well, perhaps, but lawyers traditionally built successful and sustained careers on their character and work ethic rather than raw mercantilism and technology.
Why invest the time and energy in building a reputation for integrity and legal knowledge when you can just buy it with AdWords or on social media? Because long-term, that shortcut won’t work.
I’m a proud member of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) and have been for almost 20 years. What distinguishes this organization from the modern pay-to-play environment is that membership is based upon merit, integrity, and adherence to high professional standards. Being an ethical lawyer alone is insufficient; one must also demonstrate professionalism in their interactions with the court, opposing counsel, and clients. This is where the real “best in class” reside.
Membership in the academy depends upon an application process that requires character references, family law practice experience, a test on complex family law concepts and adherence to a code of professionalism encapsulated in the AAML’s “The Bounds of Advocacy: Goals for Family Lawyers.” The purpose of the code is to “provide leadership that promotes the highest degree of professionalism and excellence in the practice of family law.”
While preparing for the admission exam, I spent 3 or 4 months doing a deep dive into regulations involving retirement plans, principles of business valuation, rules involving social security, bankruptcy, and federal tax law; the Hague Convention for International Child Abduction; and the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act. I took a lengthy written test on the core principles, and I was also quizzed separately by several members of the Illinois Chapter on specifics from Illinois divorce law.
The process was difficult and grueling. But it helped make me a better lawyer. The hard work paid off both because I became more knowledgeable in my field and because I was accepted into the academy.
Through my membership, I have made lifelong friends and have been provided volunteer opportunities that further enhance my skills. Currently I serve as the co-editor of the academic Journal of the Academy.
Investing time and energy into improving your knowledge and expertise is the true path to practice success. Sure, it’s easier to pay the 200 bucks to be in the “bestlawyerintheuniverse” club, but eventually, the market will figure out the poseurs from the real deal.
As to professionalism, staying power results from acting with integrity and treating others with respect. Those obstructionists who refuse to return phone calls, incessantly quarrel, play discovery games, and refuse to extend courtesies think that by being tough guys and gals, it will generate business based on that brand. Or sometimes they are just sociopaths and enjoy inflicting pain. Either way, their karma is a miserable professional life because that brand will attract angry, spiteful, and unreasonable people. This is not practice success; it’s practice hell.
I’ve always tried to live up to the ideals of both practice excellence and being a good person. I was recently honored with the Samuel L. Berger Award by the Illinois Chapter of the AAML as a family lawyer who “exemplifies the highest standards of integrity, courtesy, knowledge of family law, and demonstrates an extraordinary ability to solve human problems.” To be recognized by my peers for my character is the highest honor imaginable.
I entitled this essay “Character Is Destiny.” This quote is by the ancient Greek historian Heraclitus. The maxim places success squarely in the realm of moral agency. By cultivating virtuous habits—diligence, integrity, and intellectual growth—we don’t just deserve better outcomes; we engineer them.
There is no shortcut for that.